But... I'll do like everyone says and eat a Shake Shack burger and report it to you in this strange blog biography thing I've decided to do instead of my usual reporting. Let me tell you something. These things are obscene. My cholesterol went up 35 points as the greasy burger drippings fell down my goatee and all over my shoes. This is a holy burger my friends. Forget the Mets Mobile MASH unit. Just eat the burgers. Seriously, this and a vanilla or black and white shake will make you forget about trading Scott Kazmir for a couple of busted up bats, BP balls and a fat broken down pitcher. Burgerů you want burger.